Don't pick it up

So just yesterday I watched one of Uwe Boll's most recent "movie" titles called Rampage. Fortunately, I had the company of Microwave Jellyfish so I didn't have watch this travesty of a movie alone, a fact from which my sanity benefited greatly. Now don't think I'm a rabid Boll hater, because I'm not. His movies often fall in the category of "so bad it's good" and I like that, I like crappy movies that can entertain me with their crappyness. I only wish he would leave alone my beloved game franchises.

The movie is about a kid in his early twenties (played by a 29 year old actor) who gets fed up with the world and it's deep running problems, so he builds a full body kevlar armor suit, gets a few automatic guns and a few hundred pounds of explosives. Don't ask how he manages to get his hands on military grade stuff like this because it's never explained, just roll with it, it will be easier that way. So one day he completely snaps because his parents want him to move out because he's a good for nothing dipshit and... because the coffee is like shit in the local Starbucks apparently. He tells his asshole dad and one hell of a MILF mom (who looks younger than him even though she's played by a 45 year old actress) that he'll stay home filling some school papers, but it's a lie of course. After that it's just one boring and repetitive shootout scene after the other. Oh, and he robs a bank and burns the money, but not really because he keeps the majority of it and frames his friend to... oh dear lord, do you really care about this shit? I sure don't.

All in all the movie is not so surprisingly pure crap. I don't know why or how it's holding a 6.4 average on IMDB with over two thousand ratings, but I bet everyone was on crack while voting. The movie does have some redeeming qualities, like the scene where he eats a sandwich in full gear, in the middle of a big bingo game and nobody even pays attention to him. Or the scene where... wait, that's about it. I also felt really really sick during this movie because every scene seems to have terrible shaky camera control, as if the camera-man was caught in the middle of a mosh-pit and never got out.

Sadly, this is not a Boll movie that's entertaining because it's bad. It's almost unwatchable, due to the camera, the inhumanly boring action scenes and the crap story. It could've made a decent half hour short movie, but sadly this isn't the case.

The ending theme was nice, though.